Hi! I’m Logic! Welcome to my world! I’m like totally stoked that you’re here! I think I just shat! Well anyway, I’m trying to get a post out of the way before I go to the gym and to the movies. I’ll have an I Love You Man review up by tomorrow morning, most likely. Last night was a little cooky. My buddy PopTart and I went to Brooklyn with our girlfriends but the only thing missing was TibbyTaps. His girl was there but he wasn’t. Mrs. Poptart knew the bartender at “The Production Lounge” and it was weird because it was Merengue and Salsa night. We aren’t much of dancers. We’re better drinkers. So we sat at the bar the entire night, me and my girl ate a lot of popcorn. I drank a lot of Sangria and a few beers. Some Jameson (Like always, Duh!) and then we left at about 1AM. I came back and had lots of sloppy sex until about 5AM when she left to drive home. Today, my normal routine of Sludge Pockets, CSI, playing with the puppy and my hang over cure. The key is to bring a bottle of water in the bathroom with you. Turn on the shower as steamy as it can get. I always get naked, drink some water, brush my teeth, jerk off, take a shit while reading Jimmy Norton’s I Hate Your Guts. And by the time you are ready to get in the shower, your ready for the day practically. You sweat out the hangover and then you scrub yourself off and then dry off. Tell me if you don’t feel better after that.
Ok well that got awkward fast, so what’s in the news. Hm. Megan Fox. I love her. I can’t believe that she’s back with Brian Austin Green. I hope that is a false claim. I also hopes she reads my blog and thinks I’m cute/smart and pretty. Just like her. And maybe funny too. LOL! Well, I will literally talk about her everytime I see ever the slightest rumor about her because it gives me an excuse to look at her pictures. So fuck you. Those pictures are really old too and she still looks beautiful, and young. That’s why I date my girlfriend. She looks like she’s 16. It’s like stat-raping without the consequences! But here is something that resembles news about her career. I didn’t read it. I’m sorry! I get lost in her eyes!
This is really funny actually, a black making fun of a retard! Oops. Sorry President Obama. See, we all say stuff we think is funny but forget about the situation we are in at the time. Like you for example, you just gave me free reign on retard jokes for the rest of my life. Because you’re the President, you see. Here’s Ufford’s reporting.
Well, speaking of retards… Tom Sizemore seems to be pants-crapping crazy these days. Looks like he stole some cell phones, a pen and a highlighter. And that’s reported by TMZ! They are like the Mercedes of scum bag reporting! You know what, I loved him in Saving Private Ryan and I don’t care if he’s all bent out on crack cocaine, stealing stationary and shit.
Vince from FilmDrunk joined the tits-bandwagon and has been posting pictures of hot girls who have miniscule stories to make them relevant. And I totally respect him. Vanessa Hudgens is really cute. She probably shits strawberry ice cream. And Audrina Patridge is on the same level except she looks like a sexy little chipmunk. As always I strongly recommend going to FilmDrunk and just checking out every post because Vince is comedy gold. Half of the posts are just really shitty stories and he makes them funny.
Ok, I’m a violent opponent of hockey in culture. I feel like it’s one step away from NASCAR. I feel like it’s like the Larry the Cable Guy of sports. But God damn was this fucking awesome. Some guy with the last name of TooToo got his dick kicked in by someone he apparently sucker punched a few months ago. TooToo also cheated on this. Wow. This guy fuckin’ sucks. I’d beat the piss out of him as well. His face is smashed in though. That’s definitely the only cool part of hockey, is the fights. The body checks are cool too. I’m not one for like constant violence as I do love baseball and basketball but I’m just not a hockey fan. This coming from a lacrosse player but whatever.
Just last year if she said she wanted to play golf with Tony Romo, I would have been like “Awww, what a cutie!” But now I’m like, “there’s no sausage on a golf course?”. Jessica Simpson is what the phrase “wasted talent” derives from. She was THE hottest girl in Hollywood a few short years ago. When did the Dukes of Hazard come out? When she was Daisy Duke in those little booty jean shorts, Oh hot damn. It turned me into a Blue Collar Comedy Tour fan. I even started chewing tobacco and had a new found respect for Toby Keith’s music. I even wanted to beat up some gays. That’s how hot she was. Now, she’s like Miss Piggy. Long blonde hair, fat floppy tits and a snout. Trying to sing. It’s pathetic.
Punte from WithLeather thinks talking about a man’s looks is unnecessary and for the gays. I, on the other hand, made a living off of judging people by their face and body. I also like to judge athletes on their looks because, literally what else do I have going for me? I was once a college athlete and now I’m just good-looking. These guys are making millions of dollars playing the games that I love while raking up all the hot ass in the world. This article is pretty funny and I like the part where he called Keith Traylor a fat donkey. He also got Sam Cassell and Kevin Jewbag and some other notable busted athletes.
And here’s a recap of College Hoops to anyone who is lying to themselves and pretending they care but all the meanwhile just getting drunk by 5PM on a Thursday afternoon. You fucking sloth.
Ok, well that is the news from my 4 favorite websites <3. Now, let me grab a little link dump for you. Here is how Google is making people fat and retarded. I don’t know how that coincides but it does. And I thought it to be comical. And what I say goes, mister! Here is Stephen Colbert battle rapping. I love this dude.”I always felt that rainbows are God’s way of frowning at gay people”.
Here is Lucy Pinder naked (NSFW). And here is some ginger that also got naked (NSFW). And Jessica Joy also showed her boobies and I think I fell in love (NSFW). And here are some of my Twitter friends interviewing. They are gorgeous and most of them love dick. I wish they’d love mine. Mega frownies =(((((
Oh and here is what Charles Manson looks like now. Good for him. I’m sure he really thought over that “I’d kill again” speech he made when they asked him if he was cured.
And that’s actually it for me. I’m going to go get ready and then head to the movies. I’m outta here like Vladimir.
